This morning a curious thing happened, which gave me the inspiration for some thoughts, and for this post.
One asked me, candidly, “But how do you do all the things you do?“
It’s a question that made me smile. Yes, I believe that many are asking, with cautious perplexity. Something like “But where did this Angela Girolamo come from? And above all … how the hell does she do all the things she does ??? “.
There is a fundamental misunderstanding, in which, I believe, even my group members of the meditation group have fallen: it is not that I am special, nor do I have special superpowers. I mean, maybe I had them. I would not have had the problems I had and I still have. No, I’m not special, I’m sorry to disappoint you. I am an absolutely normal person, with problems like everyone else, and troubled moments, like everyone else. Which, by association of ideas, brought me back to an episode happened one year ago.
Last year, in Tuscany, I saw Jesus Christ Superstar for the first time, a marvelous musical with an extraordinary alchemy of energies that emanates, musical pieces, and thrilling performances. But the interesting fact was this: in the sharing that we made afterwards, at the end of the film, I whined, sincerely distraught, that the figure of Jesus in the film seemed to me so “powerful”, superior and unattainable as to make me feel nothing, unable to live up to that size. The person who led the group, instead of giving me a pat on the shoulder, looked at me almost with disdain, certainly with severity, and scolded me:
– Easy to whine. It is an easy excuse to remain incapacitated and not do what we need to and can do. That man is certainly a realized man, but nothing prevents us from doing the same: this is precisely what we must understand. Understanding that we all start with the same possibilities, we are all capable … this imposes a responsibility on us, the responsibility to get you to do things: it is laziness, being there to whine –
Which puts us in an awkward position, if you think about it: if we are all equal at the start, in the sense that we have the same “means” (body, emotions and mind), what prevents us from doing what he does who is “better of us ”on the evolutionary scale? That sentence shocked me, and stopped crying. I understood that he was right: often we look at those we admire and consider more capable than ourselves, considering them superior, special, and this absolves us of the responsibility of committing ourselves, testing ourselves, trying to imitate them sometimes. It’s easy to say “Oh, he can do it … he isn’t like me, loser, unable, incapable …”. I call it the biggest lie. I have been lulled into this lie for years, and despite having repeatedly had the evidence to the contrary, I have continued to believe it, to interpret it and to express it with my whole being: a lie of the body (attitude, posture), emotions (distrust, surrender, fear, tone of voice), and of the mind (strategies to avoid efforts, problems, the independent satisfaction of needs, etc.).
A lie with which I struggle every day, because every morning on waking the “failure program” awakens with me. But let’s not digress.
The meaning of this post is to remind us that we all have (except for objective functional limitations) the same identical means to do everything we need and can. The point is if and how much we want it, because it’s all in the will: the Ego is in the act of Will, Assagioli claimed, and I don’t feel like contradicting it at all. If we do not, there is a reason, and this is the reason, the block we must discover and, opportunely, remove.
Sometimes the future still scares me, “Can I do it?”, “What will happen to me?” But I have good allies. And I will describe them in the next post. 😉